Why ‘Self-Control’ Is Keeping You Stuck

It’s almost praised in our society to be ‘in control’ of fucking everything…

We all want to be in control, feel in control, look like we are in control…

Truthfully – it’s a joke and distancing us from happiness.

The constant quest to feel in control is the driving force of us not feeling enough. We are spinning 1000's of plates over our head living in constant fear we are going to smash one all over the floor…

And when we do, this is what happens…

“I told you, I knew you couldn’t handle it – you’re weak and have no will power”
(screams our inner voice)

You see – self-control is not sexy, it implies we don’t trust ourselves, it suggests we don’t have the ability to handle the ebb and flow of life.

Self-control is rooted in fear, it’s telling us to ‘be on guard’ because we aren’t safe, and don’t have the power to cope.

“If I can just control everything (including food) I will be ok, everything will stay balanced”

Right?

Wrong.

The diet you think you are in complete ‘control’ of is actually making you out of control.

Self-control is a practice of constantly doubting, fearing and second guessing our decisions and our ability to handle outcomes when they arise.

We are living in a constant state of always fearing the outcome, we envision the worst case scenario and do our absolute best to avoid it at all costs.

When we THINK about the worst, what happens? We create it. What we create in our minds, we create in the real world. This is the power of the mind.

We need to embody self-trust. The exact opposite of self-control. When we are trusting, we are telling the universe that we can handle the outcome, whatever it may be.

Self Control
– Fearing the future and doubting we are strong enough to handle the outcome

Self Trust
– Trusting ourselves, living in the moment and knowing that whatever the outcome, we can handle it.

See the difference?

Self-trust is built and cultivated by making mistakes, learning and then realizing you have the ability and power to handle whatever life throws at you.

When your level of self-trust outweighs your level of self-control you have a desire to nourish your body from a place of love, not from a place of fear.

This shift eliminates the need for control knowing our bodies have the ability to tell us exactly when we are hungry and exactly when we are full.

And before you ask, no – trusting yourself will not make you blow up to 300 pounds.

Trusting yourself, and your hunger cues will be the access point to your body and mind working in harmony together – meaning when you release the emotional weight you are carrying you will also release the physical weight.

Let go a little today – juuuuuuuust a little. Know you have the power and ability to completely let go of all control, fall into the unknown and trust your body, intuition and higher self will be there to catch you.

You’ve got this.

 

26 Comments

  • kasey
    Posted at 9:01 am, Reply

    This is the best article I’ve read, thank you

  • Brenda
    Posted at 4:57 am, Reply

    I agree with you Kassey!
    Self control implies you don’t trust yourself!

  • Jany Smith
    Posted at 5:05 am, Reply

    This line really hit me:

    Self-trust is built and cultivated by making mistakes, learning and then realizing you have the ability and power to handle whatever life throws at you.

    Thank you so much Sam!

  • Lara
    Posted at 10:16 am, Reply

    Thank you so much Sam for this wonderful blog. 🙂 You taught me that I was wrong with this sentence “If I can just control everything (including food) I will be ok, everything will stay balanced”

  • Kendra
    Posted at 3:51 am, Reply

    I just realized that “Self-control is rooted in fear, it’s telling us to ‘be on guard’ because we aren’t safe, and don’t have the power to cope.” Thank you for this line Sam. Really opened my eyes.

  • Greta B.
    Posted at 3:35 am, Reply

    It is really great to see like minded people. 🙂 Hello ladies, I really love reading all of Sam’s blog. Really hits the spot and makes you realize the wrong things you’ve been doing.

  • Linda
    Posted at 4:02 am, Reply

    This blog somehow helped me in releasing my emotional weight. It is true that trusting yourself, and your hunger cues will be the access point to your body and mind working together.

  • Girlie Joy
    Posted at 4:02 am, Reply

    What we create in our minds, we create in the real world. This is the power of the mind. Soooooo true, you attract the world energy with your attitude. 🙂

  • Erica
    Posted at 3:28 am, Reply

    I do agree with you ladies, since most of us, wants to be in control in ourselves. The truth is we really just need to trust ourselves fully and feel what our body needs.

  • Elenor
    Posted at 3:31 am, Reply

    You have the power and ability to completely let go of all control, fall into the unknown and trust your body, intuition and higher self will be there to catch you. Great ending for a wonderful blog. 🙂 I really love it

  • Ava
    Posted at 6:54 am, Reply

    Soooo true ladies. 😀 I love the positive attitude of everyone.

  • Jojo
    Posted at 3:18 am, Reply

    It’s really nice to have like minded people around. 🙂 Thank you Sam for creating the hungry for happiness community. 🙂

  • MONICA
    Posted at 3:01 am, Reply

    The title itself caught my attention, however, the content made me want to read more. Such an amazing find. Continue to inspire, Sam.

  • GIANNA
    Posted at 11:09 pm, Reply

    You are such an inspiration, Sam. You give women like me, encouragement about doing things that I have been putting on the corner for the longest time. 🙂

  • LYNNETE
    Posted at 1:59 am, Reply

    What an inspirational read. Thank you for always giving women the chance to explore their inner selves.

  • COLEEN
    Posted at 3:05 pm, Reply

    “Self-trust is built and cultivated by making mistakes, learning and then realizing you have the ability and power to handle whatever life throws at you.” – I have failed and made mistakes multiple times, but just like what you said here, I should trust myself that I will not commit the same errors and I should learn from those mistakes. Controlling myself, is not an option anymore, because, I already trust myself.

  • KAYLEE
    Posted at 1:47 pm, Reply

    “When your level of self-trust outweighs your level of self-control you have a desire to nourish your body from a place of love, not from a place of fear.” – This is something that I need to exercise everyday. I need to make sure that I do this more often until it becomes easy and just flows through me.

  • GEORGE
    Posted at 6:10 pm, Reply

    “Self-control is rooted in fear, it’s telling us to ‘be on guard’ because we aren’t safe, and don’t have the power to cope.” – We need to overcome our fear to be able to provide our body, which is our vessel, the most wonderful service it deserves.

  • PHOEBE
    Posted at 8:06 pm, Reply

    We should learn to accept the things that will happen our way and stop controlling it to totally feel free. 🙂

  • ANNA MARIE
    Posted at 3:21 am, Reply

    “Trusting yourself, and your hunger cues will be the access point to your body and mind working in harmony together” – Trust should not only be the core in your relationship with others, it should be the core with your relationship with yourself. Thru trust, you are able to freely choose what you want for your body because you knwo what it truly needs.

  • KARINA
    Posted at 11:05 pm, Reply

    Acceptance of what’s coming my way in the coming days and in the future, is one of the first steps for me to accept myself for who I really am. Thank you for this wonderful read, Sam! 🙂

  • MOLLY
    Posted at 10:50 pm, Reply

    Acceptance is really the key to happiness. 🙂

  • HARPER
    Posted at 10:21 pm, Reply

    If you think it, it might really happen. So make sure to think of positive thoughts instead of thinking the negative. 🙂

  • ROSIE
    Posted at 11:08 pm, Reply

    Let go and everything else will follow. 🙂

  • LAURICE
    Posted at 10:36 pm, Reply

    Our mistakes can make us trust ourselves more because we know, we will never do the same mistakes again. 🙂

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