I get a lot of requests to share more about myself and my personal story and journey to recovery. So today, I want to dive into that and how Hungry for Happiness was founded.
 
I grew up as a dancer and an actress. I was always on a stage. But when I hit 18, I decided that I needed a change, so I stopped dancing and acting and decided to travel instead. And, in turn, I completely lost my sense of significance and self-worth. So I tried to find that in my body, in looking and being perfect.
 
This was the beginning of my diet depression days.
 
No matter what I did, I couldn’t “eat like a normal person.” I was on a merry-go-round of diets – over 50 in five years. I literally could not eat without counting calories. I knew how bad it was–my relationship to food and my body–but I didn’t know how to fix it. I thought I could think my way out of it and figure it out on my own, so I consumed more and more information. Books, fad diet programs, podcasts, interviews – I was very up in my head and constantly trying to think my way to a solution.
 
I had been living in London at the time and got deported back home to Vancouver, and this was when I realized that I needed help. So I reached out to a coach. Unlike the diet and exercise programs I was used to and conditioned to turn to, my coach had a different method – he kept advising me to feel and get into my body. He was adamant that my issue had nothing to do with the food.
 
I thought he was crazy.
 
I was so angry and frustrated in those early days of coaching. I was sure it was really all about the food. I wanted the HOW on how to fix myself. I wanted a 10-step program that I could follow to the T and finally, finally come out on the other side of this battle. But no matter how much I resisted my coach’s method, he was firm and kept telling me:
 
“You need to get into your body. You need to feel.”
 
But being in my body was terrifying. It was weird and awful. I hated my body, and I didn’t trust it. I wanted to heal through anything but feeling, because my body was a scary place. I didn’t want to feel my emotions. I knew I would be overwhelmed and lose my shit.
 
And then one day, I had my “I can’t live like this anymore” moment. I was so beat down by binge eating and hating my body. No matter where I turned, I couldn’t find the answer. I had consumed all of the information available, and I still wasn’t seeing results. So I decided to give in and try my coach’s advice.
 
I went into my bedroom, turned off all the lights, crawled into bed and pulled the blanket over my head. I told myself I wasn’t leaving my room until I could feel. It didn’t take long before I was crying, and then not long after that, I started to feel into my body and access a little bit of my emotions. The longer I sat there allowing myself to feel and realizing that the world wasn’t ending around me because of it, the safer I began to feel.
 
For so long, my underlying story had been, “It’s not safe to be in my body, it’s not safe to feel my emotions.” But in that moment, I began to understand that I could observe my emotions without them overwhelming me. This was the beginning of my recovery. And I’ve been building on that ever since.
 
I’m now at a place where I can use food for health and hunger. I’ve completely surrendered my obsession to tracking my food and exercise. I’ve stopped overanalyzing everything. I’m at a weight that my body wants to be at, not my mind.
 
Every single day, it’s a process. I’m constantly checking in with myself and asking myself:
 
How can I be more connected to my body?
 
How can I be more intentional in my food choices?
 
How can I love and honor my body more?
 
And I have to tell you – this place feels so much more empowering and good than where I was before.
 
I honestly never planned on creating a movement around this, but Hungry for Happiness is a result of my pain. I’ve literally turned my pain into my passion. And the movement keeps growing, and with it, my vision. My mission is to help 1 million people by 2020 end the battle with food and their body. Because I was there, and I know how painful it is. But I also know it’s a battle that can be won. And I know that the person you become on the other side of the struggle is amazing.
 
I can relate to every single one of you. Our individual behaviors when it comes to food and body may be different, but at the end of the day, we’re all humans experiencing human pain and a human journey. We all want to be happy, but we’re confused about how to get there.
 
But if I can do it, you can do it!
 
I have no doubt in my mind that you can do this, you may just need a little help.
 
I’ve got you.
 
All love,
Sam
 
To watch the video version of How I Personally Healed My Relationship to Food, click here.
 
And if you’d like to read about my story in more detail, check out my book.